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In the middle of a love story

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You don't like to have your picture taken But I capture them in my head Like this morning on your knees like a kid on top of the bed Looking at Tori sheet music Couldn't love you more Than this. Looking like life and youth and love And I would have missed it all Play me your songs It'll take my lifetime to catch up I don't know why it worked out this way Is it weird that the only pictures we take Are of the dog And in our minds? (I don't mind.)
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Long story short: I believed something to be true from the inside out top down 100% - when I’m in I am ALL IN. That belief was in charge of all of my decisions, policed my desires, shamed my inadequacies and my dreams, and wrote a future without my input. Actually the whole point of being all in on that faith was to be the best at not considering your own input because that was worldly and “of man” and not “of God” and so all those gut instincts you had that went against what you were told to do or what was being done to you? Yeah. No wonder I had stomach issues and mental illness at such an early age. But we prayed for that to be healed and it never went away but I got really good at pretending to be okay. It’s not even something I wanted to get good at but you do what you have to do to survive.  My old blog was written by someone in survival mode using words to stay afloat. I am thankful for it.  I think the final post I wrote on it was the morning of the 2016 election. Here...
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in the ray

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