We are book people

I am so tired of my phone and working from home and feeling like life is one screen on top of another. It is so hard. I am so overwhelmed. I feel so much better when I say it out loud. 

The swirl of the newsday flattens out and settles in the cracks when I read and shut out everything else. I place books everywhere and buy more books and I have too many in my to read pile and it is a security, it is my investment that I can look at like artwork because they are so pretty and someday I will read them. 

I want to only use the internet to find more books. I want it to be that way again. Because we are book people. And there is too much static. 

We drove to a hill to catch the sunset. I felt thankful for the light and how it made a rich blue backdrop to the curly branched leaf-less trees. I am thankful for the help I get in my life. Noah is going to be twenty this month and he attends school and also does all the dishes and laundry, sometimes even my laundry. He is so kind and so much more structured than me. He was emptying all the garbages when we got home, and had cleaned up the kitchen.

I'm so grateful for this little pocket of life right now this evening in my living room where James is writing a new song on the guitar and the room is lamp-lit making everything sepia while I am on the couch with my laptop and all my pillows and Penny is sleeping at my feet at the other end. She's wearing her blue bandana today. The kids have eaten dinner that I made for them with true positive intentions. It really was an easy time that I don't want to forget and want to make more of. 

I've been rolling out a yoga mat during the day sometimes several times a day to stretch and get stronger. I want to be able to do things as long as possible.

I have thoughts about my body and the bones and how you can't just wake up and expect it all to fit right after sleeping like a pretzel all night. You have to put on your body. Don't expect so much from your body, too. Be a good listener.

About being a caregiver: think about how you sacrifice and give of the depths of your soul, you'll do it for pretty much anyone. You might even regret a lot of it and it might weigh you down at the thought of it, might be holding you back BUT WHAT 

What if all of that was strength training to care give to yourself? 

It’s yourself’s turn now.

This is what I'm focusing on this week. xoxo