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I am trying to illustrate: in my mindfulness time just a bit ago I envisioned myself like a soft dandelion ball bumping into my well meaning friends pin ball flipper style, my very wise friends, who are rooting for me and want the best for me and are all telling me the same thing even though they don't even know each other, and they are not wrong and I know it, but I don't want to feel that yet, and I try to float about and avoid the bumps but they are there guiding me still and the more I let them support me the more I am supported and I am strong enough to face the thing they are telling me and I am finally listening in a way so that I can be that friend to myself and then I know it inside me and out, and it doesn't matter how long it took, and before I know it it's released and it's up and gone and no longer here anymore and I feel relief and then I panic thinking I have lost something that I am going to miss. 

I am not going to miss feeling like that anymore. 

The thing that blocks the light can block the light too long, beyond salvation, and no one could ever blame you for choosing your life to survive it. 

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