a bouquet, a glittering, a hover, a shimmer, or a tune

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I didn't even feel put-out that I still woke up early this morning with the time change and everything. I felt rested, that's all that matters really. I don't care what the time on the clock says especially on my day off. The earlier the better sometimes because then that means more alone and quiet time is to be had. 

Yesterday I was proactive and stayed ahead of the depression that I've been sensing wants to have the spotlight. I made an indulgent and heart scrubby playlist, headphones in and listened to music instead of a podcast - just knew I needed an escape from talking and information that is always in the background. I straightened up a few things, organized the xmas gifts that have started to arrive, drank a glass of ice water, and took a very long hot shower. Wore my usual weekend loungewear of maxi dress, infinity scarf, gigantic soft cardigan and Uggs. No bra of course. And I have two new paperbacks to read, bumping whatever else is in my to be read stack. And a new audible one downloaded, too, making me feel armed and prepared for no chance of boredom aka slips and falls down the dark thought alleys of my mind. 

Luna messaged me from her dad's that she couldn't find her patch (after all that! it's okay) - they really are the thinnest and tiniest packaging, like a small square bandaid but slicker, easier to slip into any crevice. And I can't go inside her dad's house to help her find it with my magic mom eyes. So I trekked over there to drop another one off. It's not like this is the first time in the history of divorced families that a kid needs something brought from their other house. But it still felt weird.

I facetimed with my folks, and we decided that I'll fly to Louisiana on my birthday weekend to attend my cousin's daughter's wedding. She was the "little bride" in my first and last wedding at age 1 or 2 years old. We had a little bride and groom, then a flower girl and ring bearer, then the wedding party before I walked down the aisle. I sometimes think about it as someone else's wedding and really I guess it was. I have my own personal and valid beliefs now about weddings in general, but I will never stop celebrating and hoping for the best and these are people I love. And it's sure to be a bigtime party. Also my birthday.

This morning there was a flock of hummingbirds buzzing around the feeder on the back porch and my bare rhododendron bushes. Usually we just get the one big guy and another little one. Um, get this- I just looked up what a flock of hummingbirds is called and it can be a bouquet, a glittering, a hover, a shimmer, or a tune. I love all of that!!!!

Three things I wish were things that could happen:

  • An in-home breakfast buffet on demand (like right now)
  • A nap pod or some sort of nap transporter, so that the moment you feel like I could totally take a nap right now, no matter where you are or what you're doing, it allows you to do it and with no consequences. Maybe it stops time, too. Whatever needs to happen to make it work.
  • A way for your pet to live as long as you do







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