All my reasons

I skipped the post full of excuses. It isn't welcome here. 

I must write down the good things, allow myself the space to appreciate and be grateful and not fear it will cancel out any good to come, if I really look at it then I also have to face the reality that it even exists (and how?) and has to end eventually, so I...

The weekend was actually good and I have nothing to even dread today. Work will go fast and play practice tonight is a full run of the show, with an audience including Dr. Whitebear, and each additional day we get deeper into the play. That's a lot to look forward to. 

Ivy, Luna, & I saw Mean Girls at the Keller in Portland on Saturday. Thankful for the cheap obstructed view seats, I was able to afford to take the three of us. It went perfectly and our spot was hardly obstructed in any way, which is always a gamble but for theater people (at least us) we love a peek at the wings. We shopped every room at Powell's and had the best time with Molly and Piper on our arms all day. 

I've also procured the rest of the items I needed for my costume, not sure before what exactly my character was going to look like but I have a good handle on it now and I physically felt the alignment when I read my script afterward. 

So I must write down the times I feel things lining up. No longer worried I'm going to scare it away. I get so in my body that I forget how much bigger my energy is, reminding myself to get used to things feeling right and fitting, because we're locking it in.